Thats how i begin my conversations with my dad these days..i do it every single time...how could he bring home a wheighing scale!!! and that too when i'm around!!...Had a minor cardiac arrest the other evening when i measured my weight(after months)..
Now I smell conspiracy....Have I been such a pest that my folks want to pack me off to bangalore? Or has realisation dawned on them that their daughter infact is not at all presentable..n needs to look more like a human...?? Whatever it is...it has made my nice little holiday at home a nightmare..! The green machine stays put...when my life is completely shaken..Now everytime i look at mom and dad,i sing my current anthem - "I'm nobody's child,nobody loves me..."...The result - zilch...The green monster is still at home...Gawd!!
Well today is dad's birthday..moms in the kitchen and i can smell the delicacies..Its one in the afternoon ...Lunch time..Moms laying the table and i expectantly walk towards it....Then i see the green monster and i realise that my appetite just passed away!!
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Maladies of life...
“A lot of things go unquestioned,
A lot of questions go unanswered,
A few words go unsaid,
A few go unheard,
Some dreams are buried,
Some dreams are born dead,
That’s life !!!”
Read this in a Short Message Service – but I know that it will live with me for the longest part of my life…..what a paradox!!!
A lot of questions go unanswered,
A few words go unsaid,
A few go unheard,
Some dreams are buried,
Some dreams are born dead,
That’s life !!!”
Read this in a Short Message Service – but I know that it will live with me for the longest part of my life…..what a paradox!!!
Friday, February 25, 2005
life in a penitentiary... (part II)
When I had reached the hostel gates,I realized that the information had been conveyed..(thanx to the modern communication channels)..The Gates were sealed..Apart from our regular gurkha , the sheepish looking admin officer were forming the human barriers to my entry .. back to hell..Mr.Sheep was on the phone , and by his horrified glances I could understand that it was the Iron lady on the other end.All that I could do standing in front of Mr.Sheep and our gurkha was to smile..I was surprised to realize that I wasn’t scared (what happened to the old amrita?)..Mr.Sheep told me that I could only walk in after personally speaking to our great jailor..which was fine with me, considering the full-proof plan that I had hatched..The plan was to tell her that I was in front of Rex no doubt,but I was there with my Dad..& hence there wasn’t any violation of the penitentiary rules..
My dad had unwillingly yielded to compassion..The consideration – half an hour of Global Gyaan..which finally ended (thank gawd!!) but with a question “were u outside Rex or outside a bar?”.. On being assured that I was infact outside Rex..did he finally agree…But unfortunately neither the Iron Lady nor Mr.Sheep was in the mood for a pardon...I had to plead guilty and wait for my sentence…I was sure that the sentence could range from solitary confinement (which is what I was goin through at the moment as my cell mate was finally acquitted and sent home) to execution…amidst the animated discussions that the jailor and Mr.Sheep were havin in kannada , i was busy wondering what sentence were they finalizing…After a long time… which felt like ages,they finally agreed..(or should I say..The Iron Lady decided and Mr.Sheep bleated)..and what was it??..500 bucks fine..!!!! …..500 bucks!! I had to shell out 5 crispy hundred rupee notes..and that’s how I bought my entry back into cell no 303!...
At night dressed in my XXL prison outfit I evaluated my opportunity costs…500 bucks meant so much..500 bucks could have been equal to 2 kurtas from “Khadder” …OR 10 Zinger Burgers from KFC… OR 6 ½ Pints of Beer.. OR 50 rented VCDs from the neighboring CD shop.. OR 350 Rs worth talktime on my next hutch recharge… OR 6 pirated books from the pavements of M.G Road… OR 17 packs of Gold Flake Kings !!!!(gawd..was I tired !)…..But then I looked around my cell..saw its walls with my favorite pics and my biiiig Pajero poster...saw my computer…my big soft toy…saw my bed with my new pillow and my warm blanket …And I realized that it was actually worth it…worth every rupee.. coz whether heaven or hell..I was in love with 303!!
My dad had unwillingly yielded to compassion..The consideration – half an hour of Global Gyaan..which finally ended (thank gawd!!) but with a question “were u outside Rex or outside a bar?”.. On being assured that I was infact outside Rex..did he finally agree…But unfortunately neither the Iron Lady nor Mr.Sheep was in the mood for a pardon...I had to plead guilty and wait for my sentence…I was sure that the sentence could range from solitary confinement (which is what I was goin through at the moment as my cell mate was finally acquitted and sent home) to execution…amidst the animated discussions that the jailor and Mr.Sheep were havin in kannada , i was busy wondering what sentence were they finalizing…After a long time… which felt like ages,they finally agreed..(or should I say..The Iron Lady decided and Mr.Sheep bleated)..and what was it??..500 bucks fine..!!!! …..500 bucks!! I had to shell out 5 crispy hundred rupee notes..and that’s how I bought my entry back into cell no 303!...
At night dressed in my XXL prison outfit I evaluated my opportunity costs…500 bucks meant so much..500 bucks could have been equal to 2 kurtas from “Khadder” …OR 10 Zinger Burgers from KFC… OR 6 ½ Pints of Beer.. OR 50 rented VCDs from the neighboring CD shop.. OR 350 Rs worth talktime on my next hutch recharge… OR 6 pirated books from the pavements of M.G Road… OR 17 packs of Gold Flake Kings !!!!(gawd..was I tired !)…..But then I looked around my cell..saw its walls with my favorite pics and my biiiig Pajero poster...saw my computer…my big soft toy…saw my bed with my new pillow and my warm blanket …And I realized that it was actually worth it…worth every rupee.. coz whether heaven or hell..I was in love with 303!!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
life in a penitentiary... (part I)
It was one of those evenings i was looking forward to..A perfect ending to a perfect day..When i stepped into the premises of Rex,I hadnt felt a thing..No black cat had crossed my path,I hadnt walked under a ladder or for that matter my left eye didnt twitch..It was blissful..The entire morning had been spent lazying around,watchin a movie,reading a book n not studying..The best part was the fact that i wasnt guilty..afterall, i had survived four of the toughest papers of this semester,had nearly 4 days to prepare for the next..so life was indeed beautiful..
But it had all started with the movie.."page 3 "!!!???!!!....All i remember in between yawns and sighs were ugly people acting as socialites,parties,flashbulbs,gay men,horny women,more parties,more flashbulbs...zzzzz....The best part of the entire movie was my caramel popcorn..
Disaster struck as soon as i walked out of the theatre..In the midst of deciding where to head for dinner..I turned back once..n i froze..Standing there right in front of me was my college vehicle..A big white sumo with my college name written all over it..(Talk of surrogate advertising!!!)..And it was then that my mind stopped working..I dashed back into the theatre in a desparate bid not to be spotted.. (afterall,alcatraz closed its gate at 9p.m and there i was staning in front of rex at 9.02!!!).But as luck would have had it,they did spot me..My lady jailor rolled down her window and told my happless friends to inform me that i was caught..And i knew that i was screwed..!! The sad faces of my parents loomed in front of my eyes..n I knew that i couldnt let them go through this again..(again..??..now thats another story..)..but gawd,what could i do?
Who says India isnt good at disaster management..My friends dished out solutions by the minute and all i could do, was stare at them with a blank look..
A friend of mine,lets call him A.. suggested that the best thing would be to return to the hostel..well thank god he did suggest that n i did listen.....
Well when my auto stopped in front of my hostel gates,i knew that i just wasnt in trouble..i was in deeeeep trouble!!!.... (to be continued..)
But it had all started with the movie.."page 3 "!!!???!!!....All i remember in between yawns and sighs were ugly people acting as socialites,parties,flashbulbs,gay men,horny women,more parties,more flashbulbs...zzzzz....The best part of the entire movie was my caramel popcorn..
Disaster struck as soon as i walked out of the theatre..In the midst of deciding where to head for dinner..I turned back once..n i froze..Standing there right in front of me was my college vehicle..A big white sumo with my college name written all over it..(Talk of surrogate advertising!!!)..And it was then that my mind stopped working..I dashed back into the theatre in a desparate bid not to be spotted.. (afterall,alcatraz closed its gate at 9p.m and there i was staning in front of rex at 9.02!!!).But as luck would have had it,they did spot me..My lady jailor rolled down her window and told my happless friends to inform me that i was caught..And i knew that i was screwed..!! The sad faces of my parents loomed in front of my eyes..n I knew that i couldnt let them go through this again..(again..??..now thats another story..)..but gawd,what could i do?
Who says India isnt good at disaster management..My friends dished out solutions by the minute and all i could do, was stare at them with a blank look..
A friend of mine,lets call him A.. suggested that the best thing would be to return to the hostel..well thank god he did suggest that n i did listen.....
Well when my auto stopped in front of my hostel gates,i knew that i just wasnt in trouble..i was in deeeeep trouble!!!.... (to be continued..)
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